those who have this close sensitivity to the world stand apart from the cold, unthinking, shielded ways of others; it's the difference of a recluse and a social frequenter - those who feel in quiet times, let moments seep by, and those who cling to the external world's praises and shouts. a strength and a weakness, this sensitivity. much more a weakness in these times when I deal with the odd opacity of those around me, the strange sense that there's something more there, yet teasingly let in only to be declined.
when I see something in the distance, I like to believe that I can feel that object there, feel the armies of clouds floating as I fly high above, feel the armchair rocking as I depart it at the airport, feel my momentum swaying the world behind me in my footsteps.
this here is my greatest strength and my greatest weakness. I wonder who can appreciate that.
this chapter has concluded though. I have tried to turn the page, and I think new words are about to meet my eyes. the problem is that my fingers are restless and sometimes want to turn back and glance at those twirling words of what happened and develop theories around them - but that is when your strength becomes your weakness: you overthink. not everyone has that order of thought, and when they don't and you deal with them, you end up deceiving yourself. remember, just hypotheses - nothing else. be objective.
hypotheses are not dreams.
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mutual improvement with another would be fantastic.
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why can't you just free me of this stockholm syndrome?
Found this site while googling. Amazing and insightful prose.
ReplyDeleteBut I do disagree with one point though, as a person who lives in the world of the abstract, I don't believe that "hypotheses are not dreams." A dream takes something extra to reach. A hypothesis takes something ingenious to prove. You can't reach a dream unless there's something in you that holds onto the belief that you can reach it. You can't prove a hypothesis unless you think it is provable. Even if you are wrong in both respects, it is better to guess the 1% that could succeed than to believe in the 99% that fails.