Wednesday, August 13, 2014

sacrifice

Definitions:
Source One - sources of intrinsic happiness
Source Two - sources of extrinsic happiness

it is now apparent to me that Source 1 and Source 2 are in such strong conflict that this balancing act is possibly the biggest challenge of my life. every party, every social invitation yields nothing but revisitation when I return to my silent abode - my safe haven of One. and perhaps better so, because between the two sources of happiness, it is One that drives me to work harder, learn more, ponder deeply and seek benefits for the larger world. it is One that ignites the fire and keeps it burning into a roaring flame capable of devouring forests... but instead, One directs the flame to carve wood together to build fortresses, kingdoms, castles.

complacency is not an option.

to cast aside all others would be a paradise enclosed in steel walls no one will ever break through unless I make a breakthrough.

do I really have to choose between the two? is Two such an alcoholic beverage, a shot glass that shoots me in the foot, preventing me from walking the restless way I always do, preventing me from sprinting at my heart's content? do I want to have a permanent crutch by my side - fall into potential complacency blinded by this deep love we all search for, a love we ironically call "the one"?

is balance possible? can we find even ground between the two - but odd plus even is always odd; nothing can deny 1+2=3. as long as my strength lies in One, I will remain my true self, even if slowed down by Two; even if slowed down by finding that one true love we call "the one".

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